This is the backstory for a character in my house rules game. It’s much more detailed that the average backstory, but then a character with a name like Yolo Swaggins, Master of Swag End, demands some explanation.
In a hole in the ground there lives a hobbit er, hafling*. It is a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell; he could only wish it was a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it rotting or molding: it was a halfling-hole, which should have meant comfort. But it didn’t. It had a warped round door like a porthole, painted with peeling green paint, with a once shiny brass knob mostly in the middle. The door opened on to a tube-shaped hall like a tunnel: a once comfortable tunnel, with crumbling paneled walls, now stained with water marks, and floors of broken tile and moldy carpet, strewn with decrepit furniture, and lots and lots of pegs for hats and coats—though the halfling hated visitors. The tunnel wound on and on, meandering randomly into the side of the hill—The Hill, as all the people living there called it (though that didn’t really distinguish it from the other hills nearby as those residents referred to their hill as The Hill too)—and many little round doors, all in better shape than this one, opened out of it, first on one side and then on another. No going upstairs for the halfling: empty bedrooms, dirty bathrooms, damp cellars, moldy pantries (lots of these, though sadly there was little in any of them), musty wardrobes, counting rooms (he had whole empty rooms devoted to counting and storing his non-existent wealth), dirty kitchens, dim dining-rooms, all were on the same floor, and indeed on the same passage. The best rooms, which is not saying much, were all on the left-hand side (going in), for these were the only ones to have windows which at least let in the light, through deep-set round windows looking over his weedy garden and beyond, sloping down to the mere pond. Read more